green with envy

Green shirts......there is just something about them. No matter what the size or material, I still somehow am drawn to them. As far as coloring goes, the color does seem to be good on me......as far as sizing goes, I seem to not make such wise decisions.
You all are aware of the flabilicious green shirt, which I have now owned for many, many, months. I must now admit that there is also another green shirt. It was a trip out of town, and the realization that I hadn't packed as well as I thought.
The family dropped me off at the doors of the evil big-box store and I ran in to grab a shirt to get me through the weekend. I scanned the aisles quickly, and my eyes rested on that green color that I just can't get enough of. Great!
I even grabbed a size larger than what I thought I needed, just to be safe. It was only $7.

Lessons learned:
Cheaper is not always better. In fact, despite my love affair with the dollar store, it usually is not better.
Make sure I am buying Women's sizes- not Juniors
Never, ever buy something that has a tag advertising (or is it warning?) "accentuates curves."
Never, ever buy a blouse that includes any percentage of spandex- even under 5%.
Spandex is a strange combination of the greatest invention known to the fashion world and the greatest tragedy. Stretch jeans? Yes. Stretch shirts? No, no, no.

I think this new green shirt was "accidentally" left at the relatives' home. Hopefully, they will consider it a donation of love or something like that.

So back to the original. I look forward to these days of posting my picture like I look forward to eating brussel sprouts.

The original, a long while back:

A month-ish ago:


See.....even un-motivated, lazy moms of 3 can make a difference. I even wore the shirt in public.
Sort of. I wore the shirt in the car to take my son to pre-school. And, I had a jacket on. BUT, I did leave my house in it. I did get out of the car to walk him up to the door too. I am sure that the one other mother that saw me was totally thinking about how I should lose a few more pounds in order to wear that. Ok, I know that she didn't think that, she was thinking about how amazingly cute her little girl with amazingly curly hair is, but whatever.
I know the shirt doesn't look fantastic yet, but it doesn't look quite as atrocious as before. Now, it just looks like maybe I should have bought a size larger. Before, it looked like I was trying to squeeze all of my glory into my 2-year-old's shirt. Someday, soon I hope, maybe it will hang loosely around me- and then you won't even see the wrinkles of fabric stretching against their will around me.

So, do you want to know my big secret for making more progress? The key to almost mastering my muffin top......


I am afraid to go into a grocery store with all 3 of my children. I have a habit of avoiding confrontation, and now that my baby is mobile and likes to be entertained, grocery trips have become few and far between. I don't mind shopping when all the kids are contained. I hate shopping if any of them are walking alongside the cart. We all know that no child really walks alongside the cart. The big stores have the mammoth carts where 2 can be in the seats, and then the baby in the actual cart- but seriously?! I can't even park my husbands full-sized truck. Do you really think I can navigate those things around crowds and precariously stacked boxes of fruit juices? To those of you who can....jealousy.

The change in my eating habits has a lot less to do with will power and motivation, and alot more to do with a lack of options. Regardless of the reasons, having less junk food (or food in general) around the house has resulted in far less calories. Go figure.

In conclusion, may I just say: spandex..... can't live with it, can't live without it. And, mothers who have to, get to, shop with 3 or more children should have fast check out lanes all to themselves. Can you imagine that? The heavens are singing. I am turning this idea in to Google so that I can win a million dollars. Check-out lanes for frantic, frazzled, mothers....in too-tight green shirts. It gives me shivers......good shivers. Or- it might be lack of warmth this spandex-laced shirt gives me. I gotta go change.


  1. You. Crack. Me. Up. Seriously!! I have a bunch of stretchy shirts like your green one but I consider them my undershirts...they are never ever worn alone...maybe that should be my goal! Ha ha!!

  2. You are awesome! Look at your pictures! Of course you can link to me or to just the site! Crazy huh?? I wonder what other people will think!

  3. I think you are doing amazing with your goal! And I also think your mom-only checkout is inspired! I would rather shop at two in the morning in my pj's then take my kids to the store with me!

  4. Along with the line for mothers with children, they need to add pregnant women (especially with other little ones hanging on) to the handicap parking permited.