In honor of the holiday:

Over the course of the next few days, we will all hear/see/read lots of sappy Mother's Day tributes. Now, I love the sappy stuff as much as any other mom. My 4-year-old couldn't help but give me my gift early: a mismatched necklace strung with the best foam beads that a pre-school teacher can buy.... and I LOVE it.
However, we must have a little humor too. No mother can get through motherhood without lots and lots of humor. SO, without further delay:

You might be a mother like me if:
(I do not confess to actually have experienced all items on this list....but maybe I have....but I won't tell.....some things are just between me and....um, me.)

Jumping on a trampoline or sneezing has very unforeseen consequences, known as leakage.

You know how fruit loops and fruit snacks change the color of poop.

Silence in your home is not necessarily a good thing, but a dangerous clue to kid catastrophe.

Sliding your hand along the back of a couch, pillow or bedding results in major boogerage. (Boogerage just became my new favorite made-up word. Boogerage- say it out loud. You will like it too.)

You know to never ever change a newborn diaper of a little boy without some sort of industrial strength shield.

Making dinner, cleaning house and nursing a baby can all be done at the same time with the motivation that company is coming over.

Cleaning a pacifier with your own spit is ok under emergency no-water circumstances- and some emergency laziness circumstances.

You know who: Max, Emmi, George, Wyatt, Cassie, Zach, Emily Elizabeth and, (my personal favorite) Wheezie are.

You can describe, (in great detail), the differences between chicken nuggets at McDonald's and Wendy's.

You have ever paid your child money to eat broccoli.

Despite not ever thinking it was possible for any good mother to forget her child, you have forgotten them at an undisclosed location.... such as church...just an idea of where someone might accidentally forget their 2-year-old was with them if they happened to ever forget them

You can make 4 different meals out of 1 meal's leftovers.

Changing out of PJ's, (for you or your child), is optional on days you are not going anywhere.

Your child thinks that you "work" on the computer for untold amounts of time, when really you are blogging, surfing the web, shopping, etc.

3 children can be crying at the top of their lungs all at the same time while you "hide" to make a quick phone call.

The phone company keeps you on hold long enough to let 3 crying children find you right as you are finally taken off of hold.

When feeding a child/baby, you open your mouth in synchronized motions with the spoon. You may have caught yourself doing these same synchronized motions when watching your husband eat his dinner.

When having adult conversations, you still use the words: gotta go potty, tummy, yum yum and owie.

Your "curse" words have become: Oh man! Darn! Shoot! Jimney Cricket! Yikes! And, if you are really mad: What the heck?!

You term age in months, not years.

Last, but not least....you have at least one child convinced that maybe, just maybe you really do have eyes in the back of your head.

Ok-then, now it is your turn. I think what makes this blog fun is all of your wonderful additions to my shabby posts. Please let us all know what makes you a "real mom." If you aren't a mom yet, just add your 2 cents about your own mother or mothering your pet.
My sister-in-law makes one mighty fine mother for one lucky mutt named Rocca.
A friend w/o kids can clean her nieces' puke well enough that she should hold seminars for elementary school janitors. Mothering is a group effort in many cases.


Anyhoo- Have a wonderful Mother's Day to all of you present and future mother's. I will be thinking of you all when I doll up for church Sunday with my best-new-necklace ever.