You Don't

I thought I was so old that day. So, wise, so mature, so ready for my "grown-up" life.
I knew how to pay the bills, I knew how to cook a few meals.

I didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did.
8 years ago, on August 18th, my husband and I began our journey together in life.

I stayed up late the night before, making a "tape" of our songs. My dearest fiance, didn't have the guts to tell me that "our songs" were actually the songs he had schmoozed every former girlfriend with as well....... alas, I thought they were so romantic that day- later on, he divulged the "truth." A man just can't go wrong with U2 on his side.

My bridesmaids (most of whom read this) had terrible dresses. I am really sorry girls.....the material was cheap though, and like most things I come up with, the idea had much more "vision" than the reality. Basically, I forced my sister & best friends to wear green gunny sacks with cap sleeves. Maybe you made me look better that way though- and really, that is what was important, right?

We woke up that morning to pouring rain. I had spent an entire student loan to fund the decorations for my outdoor reception. The sun came out in the afternoon, everything dried up and the party began- without bows along the fence line and candles on the tables, much simpler than my overzealous planning had once imagined.

Our first apartment was rented, sight unseen. When we arrived in Northern Idaho, to the big "party school," we began an extremely challenging, heart-wrenching, newly-wed life. Neither of us had ever been to the town before. The steep hills on the walk to school became my enemy. The kitchen in our apartment was basically a hallway with counters on either side. If one of us was at the sink, the other could not get through to the fridge. My apple green dishes that began their career are being rinsed in my dishwasher today. We are down to 2 dinner plates.

After discovering the perfect find at a local thrift sale, we brought home a cat-hair covered, stinky weaved-fabric orange recliner. It went great with our welded-back-together futon. The worst part? We actually used the recliner. (shudder) I can't believe we used it. I am itchy all over just thinking about it. When we moved the next year, the guys that bought our lease inherited the recliner as a move-in bonus....... sick.

We were the only married couple in our huge complex, surrounded by partying co-eds. I was only 20. Of, course, I thought I was ssssoooo old and mature. Now, I understand why many co-workers and other students were astonished when they found out I was married.

From day 1, I was busy. 2 jobs, full credit load and a competition team for my major. I knew enough people on campus to feel comfortable. My work quickly created new acquaintances.
My husband couldn't find a job. His class load wasn't too hard. He didn't know anyone and there weren't many people that we shared commonalities with. He spent a lot of time home alone, thinking, thinking, thinking. It was a bad recipe for our first year of marriage. When we were not together, we had very opposite agendas. We learned a lot that year- much more from each other than from the university that we were paying our tuition to.

The past 8 years have been filled with ups and downs. Would I do things differently? Oh-yes! But, I wouldn't go back to those times for anything. It was so hard for us- harder than I would wish it to be for any other couple. The wonderful thing is that now, the ups are a lot more frequent than the downs. Our bantering is about the dishes- not our commitment to each other.

When I look back at the point we started from, the uproar we put ourselves through, the point we are at now, as cliche' as it sounds, we really have come so far. I can't wait to see what comes in the next 8 years.

How fitting for me today, "Thankful Monday," to be my anniversary.

To my husband, love you. I am thankful today for everything you don't do: you don't give up on me. You don't wake me up in the mornings. You don't mind bringing home dinner when I ask. You don't make me take care of the mouse traps. You don't buy me cheapskate gifts- even though I do for you. You don't care about my odd-shaped pinky toes. You don't mind my mismatched socks. You don't get annoyed when I "sip" on your drinks after I order water for myself. Most of all, you don't give up on me.

Happy Anniversary.

Oh- and in case you are wondering, that loan was finally paid off last year. Some of the purchases still sit in the craft closet at my mother's house, never used. Do you think that sage green, pale yellow and pale pink will make a comeback?

I am curious- if you have ever been married, what were your colors? If you were getting married today, what would your colors be? I would have to go with black, lime green and white.

And, as always on Monday, what are you thankful for?


  1. Wedding colors were purple, green and navy blue. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what color they would be if I got married today. I shudder to think about having to go through that again.
    Thanks for the post though, it made me remember my 1st few years of marriage and look back at how far we've come in 13 years!

  2. wow, I thought I was reading my sister-in-laws blog there for a minute. I think the only difference is that they got married on the 1st of Aug and instead of pink as one of her colors it was lavender. Everything else the same, 20, newlywed, northern Idaho college, well I guess they didn't head up there until after they had been married a year. Still, very similar, kinda freaky.
    Congratulations on eight years! Here's to countless more!!!

  3. Happy Anniversay! I remeber your apt. up in Moscow. It did have a very tiny kitchen. All the wonderful things we have to go through as newlyweds. :)

  4. My colors (13 years ago) were peach and teal. LOVED them at the time, but makes me cringe now! If I were to pick now, I would probably pick burgundy and black...more formal :)

  5. wow - making us own up to what we liked back in the day. Purple and Yellow - my two favorite colors. It was a spring wedding adorned with purple and yellow irises - it was lovely, but, hmmmmm, would I use those colors again? I probably wouldn't care and would take the money and elope :)

  6. When I got married to #1 It was in 1995 and the colors were Teal and Silver. He was a huge Dolphins fan and it showed, lol.

    WhenI got married tfor the second and final time in 2003 the colors were white and periwinkle. THey were those colors because when I made my dress that happened to be the clearance fancy cloth at the time, lol. It was easy to get flowers in te matching color and hubby reluctantly got a shirt in that color (never to be worn since)

    This monday I am thankful for the rain since it brought the temp down here in WA.

  7. You seriously should be a published author! You are so amazing... you have such a talent for writing! Happy Anniversary!! Isn't it amazing how old we're getting? I can't remember what happened to that bridesmaid dress I wore to your wedding! It wasn't as bad as the dress I made you wear! :) So we're even! My colors were dark purple, light purple, and cream. I would go with something bright and have TONS of flowers!

  8. I actually liked my wedding colors--and still do. Eggplant purple, white, silver. It was all tied together really well--but had I really chosen what I WANTED, I would choose red and white. I just love that. But, my mom said it would look like McDonalds so I had to choose something different. Darn it. :)

    Hooray for your anniversary. Isn't it so fun to celebrate??

  9. The first year of marriage is sooo tough. My wedding colors were purple and yellow. That's two different shades of purple and a yellow. I didn't care for my wedding dress, a table cloth caught on fire, and the punch was really, really bad. Lemonade mixed with sprite??? Not. My. Idea. Now, I would do a nice red and white and one of my bridesmaids would be different. Ahhh, memories.

  10. Camille,
    I love You, I know you spend your time here so this is where I post. Any I didn't make you crawl around in the human waste under our old house too.....
    Camille, thanks for the great 8 years and I hope that I can make a life time of memories with my best friend,

  11. Happy Anniversary!
    My wedding colors were peach and seafoam green, 16 years ago!
    We want to renew our vows within the next couple years so I will get to pick colors all over again. And NOT the same ones!! Ick!

  12. I wedding colors were lavender and white. I would probably do bolder colors if I were to do it today, but I'm sure it would be trendy, like blue & brown or pink & black. I would DEFINITELY go with a different wedding dress. I could have done way better.

  13. i didn't have colors at my wedding cuz it was way too fast. If I was to get married today I would have a black, white and something color for those wonderful black &white pictures with the little color. I'm thinking blue or crimson.
    I'm grateful for everything I have in my life now. A munchkin, supportive hubby and a few animals.
    It sounds like we were in the same world for our first year of marriage. We got married and my hubby joined the Air Force the next day. He left for boot camp 3 months later. I can't believe we came out alive. There are some hugggee misunderstandings/fights.
    We have come far from our little apartments. Congrats on the years together!

  14. My wedding colors were pink, navy and white, My favorite color, and my husbands. If I could do it again, I would most likely have pink and brown, (since that is what I like today) and I would make it more classy. My bridesmaids would have had fancy dresses, not skirts and cartigans and I would have had it outside, not in the gym at church. :) Happy Anniversary!!

  15. well, Happy Anniversary!
    Our colors... um, a sky/baby blue and various pinks in our flowers. I too shudder at the bridesmaid dresses. I had them made - from a seamstress - and they turned out terrible... well, maybe just bad. I wish I would have forked out the $$ and went with David's bridal! And I should hunt down the DJ that we had at our reception. He was TERRIBLE. He actually played Pink's "Let's get this party started" as we entered the room! (um, not our requested swing music at all.) For those not married (if any), get a real band.
    I guess we never know as much as we think we do :) I know that our marriage has also been a challenging trip, but one that is definitely definitely worth it.

  16. My color was lavendar, and it is STILL my favorite color ever, so I'd probably choose it again. As it is, I have settled for painting my powder room that color!

    Congrats on 8 years!

  17. I liked my colors when i got married they were sky blue and white. If I wanted to change them I would changed the sky blue to blue instead. They worked and they were beatiful colors. If I knew what was going to happen back when i got married I would have eloped lol!

  18. I love your blog. I hope you dont mind that I read it. I stumbled upon it a while back and it makes my day every time I read it! Happy Anniversary! I wish that I could say my marriage made it to 8 years. It only made it to a year and a half (I left due to domestic violence). My wedding colors were red and white because I got married in February.

    Thanks again for all of the great reads!

  19. My colors were "the inside of a watermelon pinky-red, tulip stem green, and citrus fruit yellow." I just did my sister's wedding last year and we did black and orange with tiger-lilies everywhere and it looked awesome, so I would probably do that because I loved it so much! I hope you had a great anniversary and it sure sounds like your hubby is still pretty head-over-heels in love with you so you guys must be doing something right!

  20. colors:

    lavendar and pale yellow

    Probably wouldn't be the same today--maybe just black and white.

    The wedding party dresses I'm making have lavendar sashes--maybe my taste wasn't too dated.

    Anyway--I'm thankful for friends who met us at parks at the last minute. It makes the day go faster.

    Happy Anniversary

  21. Happy Anniversary! Your husband's post was so sweet! My colors were springy- I have no idea what I would choose now. I am thankful for my husband too. He is my best friend and I don't know what I would do without him!

  22. My colors were white/cream and dark green. So pretty together! And if I were to do it again, I'd probably choose the same colors. Maybe add a light beige as well.

    I'm thankful for blogging. My food blog helps keep me motivated to cook delicious foods, instead of always breaking out ramen or mac n' cheese. My family blog helps me remember the small things that happen during the day, and keeps me connected to the rest of my family. And I just started a new blog about homemaking that I hope will motivate me to make my home beautiful. Blogging is a wonderful tool that has so many good benefits, and I am thankful for it!

  23. This post made me giggle, especially about the bridesmaids' dresses.
    I've been married twice. My first wedding colors were black and red. It was a fall wedding. My second wedding color was peach. It was a spring wedding. It was beautiful, and if I had it to do over I'd pick peach again...but this time on the beach, which I actually hope to do when we renew our vows.
    Oh and BTW, I found you via a comment on SITS. =)

  24. So 8 1/2 years ago my colors were Dark Green and White with a little burgandy. I personally wouldn't choose that again, but have no idea what I would choose now. Something more bright and fun and outside with tons of flowers! My wedding was in Feb so to cold to have it outside, I was a little bummed about that. I totally remember you on your wedding day, beautiful! I don't particularly remember the bridesmaid dresses you made them wear, maybe you should include a pic =). Happy Anniversary!

  25. I'm so happy! You also wear mis-matched socks, and your husband (like mine) doesn't mind. haha, everyone else on the planet comments on my mis-matched socks... but not him. Not my husband! haha My first year was also a wreck. (Ok, so my first THREE years!!) Since we've only been married 3 years.... I hope our ups become more frequent and our arguments become more about the dishes than our commitment to each other! :) You give me hope, and I loved reading about your experience. Thankful Monday, what a great idea! :) Congratulations on 8 years, and good luck with the next 60 or so years!!

  26. We have been married for just over 9 years. Our colors were periwinkle blue, silver and white. I think though if I were going to do it over again I would go white with accents of red and black. A friend of ours did that and it was gorgeous!! today I am thankful that my husband is the good man he is. He is a divorce attorney and I work in his office 2 days a week. When I hear the stories of the people going through divorce I realize what a truly kind, loving, patient, caring, and helpful man he is. When he comes home to a trashed house and no dinner and I say "I took the day off." he ALWAYS says "Good you deserve it." :)

  27. my hubby and I eloped so I didn't have my dream wedding BUT if I could have I wanted the colors light pink, slate blue, pale yellow and lavender. Just a bunch of pastels to make it light and fun! Congrats to you two for making it to 8 years! Many more to come I'm sure! It sounds like you truly are best friends and I am so glad!

  28. My wedding colors were Red, Black, and White. I just got married this past Feb 23, 2008. Coming up on 6 months together this weekend! YAY!
    We live in a studio apartment in Scotland (moved there 3 days after the wedding for my husbands work)...its been a tough first few months, but every day its getting better and I'm loving him more!
    I'm thankful for my husband's patience. Because I don't have any for him...and at least he has some for me!!

  29. I usually go on and on with thankful Mondays.... (I know Im late... whatever.)

    Im thankful that I love my husband and he loves me back. That's it. Simple but my biggest blessing yet.