You Don't

I thought I was so old that day. So, wise, so mature, so ready for my "grown-up" life.
I knew how to pay the bills, I knew how to cook a few meals.

I didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did.
8 years ago, on August 18th, my husband and I began our journey together in life.

I stayed up late the night before, making a "tape" of our songs. My dearest fiance, didn't have the guts to tell me that "our songs" were actually the songs he had schmoozed every former girlfriend with as well....... alas, I thought they were so romantic that day- later on, he divulged the "truth." A man just can't go wrong with U2 on his side.

My bridesmaids (most of whom read this) had terrible dresses. I am really sorry girls.....the material was cheap though, and like most things I come up with, the idea had much more "vision" than the reality. Basically, I forced my sister & best friends to wear green gunny sacks with cap sleeves. Maybe you made me look better that way though- and really, that is what was important, right?


We woke up that morning to pouring rain. I had spent an entire student loan to fund the decorations for my outdoor reception. The sun came out in the afternoon, everything dried up and the party began- without bows along the fence line and candles on the tables, much simpler than my overzealous planning had once imagined.


Our first apartment was rented, sight unseen. When we arrived in Northern Idaho, to the big "party school," we began an extremely challenging, heart-wrenching, newly-wed life. Neither of us had ever been to the town before. The steep hills on the walk to school became my enemy. The kitchen in our apartment was basically a hallway with counters on either side. If one of us was at the sink, the other could not get through to the fridge. My apple green dishes that began their career are being rinsed in my dishwasher today. We are down to 2 dinner plates.

After discovering the perfect find at a local thrift sale, we brought home a cat-hair covered, stinky weaved-fabric orange recliner. It went great with our welded-back-together futon. The worst part? We actually used the recliner. (shudder) I can't believe we used it. I am itchy all over just thinking about it. When we moved the next year, the guys that bought our lease inherited the recliner as a move-in bonus....... sick.

We were the only married couple in our huge complex, surrounded by partying co-eds. I was only 20. Of, course, I thought I was ssssoooo old and mature. Now, I understand why many co-workers and other students were astonished when they found out I was married.

From day 1, I was busy. 2 jobs, full credit load and a competition team for my major. I knew enough people on campus to feel comfortable. My work quickly created new acquaintances.
My husband couldn't find a job. His class load wasn't too hard. He didn't know anyone and there weren't many people that we shared commonalities with. He spent a lot of time home alone, thinking, thinking, thinking. It was a bad recipe for our first year of marriage. When we were not together, we had very opposite agendas. We learned a lot that year- much more from each other than from the university that we were paying our tuition to.

The past 8 years have been filled with ups and downs. Would I do things differently? Oh-yes! But, I wouldn't go back to those times for anything. It was so hard for us- harder than I would wish it to be for any other couple. The wonderful thing is that now, the ups are a lot more frequent than the downs. Our bantering is about the dishes- not our commitment to each other.

When I look back at the point we started from, the uproar we put ourselves through, the point we are at now, as cliche' as it sounds, we really have come so far. I can't wait to see what comes in the next 8 years.



How fitting for me today, "Thankful Monday," to be my anniversary.

To my husband, love you. I am thankful today for everything you don't do: you don't give up on me. You don't wake me up in the mornings. You don't mind bringing home dinner when I ask. You don't make me take care of the mouse traps. You don't buy me cheapskate gifts- even though I do for you. You don't care about my odd-shaped pinky toes. You don't mind my mismatched socks. You don't get annoyed when I "sip" on your drinks after I order water for myself. Most of all, you don't give up on me.

Happy Anniversary.



Oh- and in case you are wondering, that loan was finally paid off last year. Some of the purchases still sit in the craft closet at my mother's house, never used. Do you think that sage green, pale yellow and pale pink will make a comeback?

I am curious- if you have ever been married, what were your colors? If you were getting married today, what would your colors be? I would have to go with black, lime green and white.

And, as always on Monday, what are you thankful for?