12.03.2008

CHALLENGE.....apology UNaccepted

A few years ago, we lived in the slum of slums in town. Our home, a glorified trailer, was one of the nicest on the street. The neighbors liked to tell stories of drug deals and drive-by's. Two doors down were several drug busts and how shall we say it? slightly peculiar behavior. We moved out over 4th of July weekend. The next night, someone attempted to have a bonfire inside of the empty home. (Attempted...thankfully did not succeed.) When company would come to stay, I would apologize for our humble abode. Despite all the things you are now envisioning, it was a good place to live; a good "starter" home.
I cried when we left. This was the home I brought my first baby to. The nursery I decorated, the place where we transitioned from "the young married couple" to a family.
This was the home that I kept tidy because Grandma and Mother-in-law lived within minutes and could stop by at any time.
Now, we live in the country. WAAAYYYY longer than a few minutes from Grandma's. Rarely does anyone come by unannounced and therefore rarely do the shoes/coats/bags/papers/keys/sunglasses make it further than the entryway of our house.
Rarely, doesn't mean never. (Sometimes the simple things get me.)
Since we recently returned from traveling, the entryway also includes junk, an overflowing suitcase, junk, blankets, and more junk. I mentioned junk, right?
I have this neighbor, you see. A dear sweet neighbor. She only lives 3 houses from us, which in the country is actually over a mile, but still equals a neighbor. Her home is meticulous. We are talking plastic-coverings-on-the-furniture meticulous. Shade-gardens-with-exotic-plants-and-water-features meticulous. So, she came by.
Of course she did.
Me, immediately, "Sorry about the mess. We just....blah, blah, excuse, excuse."

In an effort to teach my kids about service, we went to an elderly couple's home to rake leaves. (interpretation: I raked a few leaves while yelling at 2 small children to watch for dog poop and stay out of the road, while trying to keep a baby in pack warm on my back.) So, of course, when we leave, me: "Sorry I didn't get more done. Sorry it took us so long."

Why do we apologize for so many things? Why do I need to apologize to my neighbor who has raised 7 children of her own because I have a home that looks like children live there?
My brother and sister-in-law needed to stay at our home last week while traveling through town. Of course, I quickly apologized for the lack-luster arrangements made in their behalf. They just wanted somewhere to sleep.
When someone at church compliments my efforts, why do I feel the need to brush it aside and apologize that a lesson wasn't better? Why do I make effort to create dinner for my family, and then apologize for it's imperfections?

CHALLENGE................apology UNaccepted

None of us are perfect, so why do we need to apologize for it? I am quite sure that everyone in my examples above couldn't care less for my apologies, yet I still give them.

For the week, you can't apologize for being you. You can't apologize for what you might think are your inadequacies. Make dinner and burn it? Oh-well. Don't apologize for it; at least there is food to eat.
Messy house when someone stops by? No apology needed. At least there is a warm doorway to step into.
Taking too much room in the aisle at the grocery store? Don't apologize! Just simply say excuse me.
Suddenly stop posting on your blog? Don't apologize (ok- this one might be revisited next week, after this challenge is over.)

Anyone in?

14 comments:

  1. Crap! I do this all the time. I think it's on the top 5 things said in our house, Sorry for this, or that.
    The top 6 saying is from my hubby: STOP apologizing! IT's life!

    Dang it. Now I'm gonna have to do this. I'll report back here on Thursday, or Wednesday?! I lost track, sorry! (LOL I had to, I just had to!) I'm un-sorry.

    Thank you for all your hard work you put into this site. I really, really enjoy it.

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  2. Man, this is SO me. I apologize for everything. It's ridiculous!

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  3. Not say I'm Sorry for a week? Are you kidding me? That word is in my main vocabulary. This is a tuff challenge..(I can hear you say I'm sorry already!) I will try it!

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  4. Oh, this is going to be hard!!! I will try. ;)

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  5. I am constantly apologizing to people for my 3-year-old after he runs into them while we're in public. I can go all week without apologizing? Just knowing that he's 3 and that's what he does? Cool. I'm in!

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  6. I don't know if I do it alot. I probably do with out thinking about it. I am in. I might practice tomorrow by not cleaning and see if I can make it without apologizing. :)

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  7. Ahh! This is so me! I'm like Kritta where my husband is always telling me to stop it, but I do it anyway:). So I will try my darndest not to apologize for those things that don't require it....

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  8. Great challenge! That is going to be difficult!

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  9. I am very guilty of this. I'm sorry. Oops!! :-)

    I blogged about this today.

    Thanks for the great challenge!

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  10. KUDOS,KUDOS,KUDOS,KUDOS! I stumbled onto your blog as I sit here wearing a ponytail for the umpteenth day in a row - So starting tomorrow I accept the ponytail challenge!!!

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  11. Dang it! i said Sorry to a lady in the store for moving out of her way. I was already moving. I have seriously deleted or stopped in mid sentence the past couple days. I'm sure people think I'm loosing it!

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  12. Great challenge... but I'm a week late... sorry.

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  13. I'm sorry I missed this challenge and that's the last apology I'm going to make this week. I am notorious for over-apologizing (it drives my sister-in-law crazy) and it's ends HERE!

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  14. I love this blog! Camille, you know how to say things we all feel and we all think in such a way that it sounds great. I am HORRIBLE at doing this, and not taking compliments from others. I don't know why we do this to ourselves!

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